I am bitter and upset with the course of events that have played out in my life. I did not choose this life; this life was chosen for me. My Mother told me that she gave up alcohol and prayed for seven years to God so that she could be blessed with me. Well, here I am, with no Mother, no Father, no way out of my thoughts, and the dark depths of my soul. I want to scream, I want to cut myself, make myself feel pain, so I can feel alive again; but I don’t. I feel like I am already dead and non- existent to this planet called Earth. My Mother would have wanted more for me than what I am doing with my life, I have not finished college, I am certified in healthcare and graduated as a PCT and I have succeeded in that at least. But I am still no where near where I want to be in my educational path. I don’t feel there is really anything in this life that I could even complete or accomplish. I never fini...